Sunday, 21 April 2013

The Wall

I gave myself to sin. I gave myself to providence. And I've been there and back again, the state that I am in
The State I'm In - Belle and Sebastian

Day 45 : Almost normal. Which, in the context of the recent past, is quite abnormal.

Well done Nathan King for completing the marathon today. And raising over £1,600 for Myeloma UK. He describes it pretty succinctly:
"a brilliant experience with first 13 miles going well, the second set not so well but got round [due] in no small part to the amazing crowds"

I wonder if Nath had the sensation, as many marathon runners report, (having never run anything like that far myself, I wouldn't know) of "hitting the wall"?

It seems a good metaphor for me, right now. I'm grappling with fatigue. I guess family life is just more active by nature, than what I've been used to. My fatigue is not like tiredness. It doesn't come on slowly. It doesn't appear to directly relate to activity. Oh no. Instead, I'll be running along quite happily when abruptly, with little warning, I hit the wall, and find myself completely devoid of energy reserves. Suddenly even sitting in a chair seems exhausting, and I make heavy weather of shuffling upstairs and onto the bed. I really hope this is a passing phase in my recovery, because it rather ruins the end of each day.

But overall, fatigue notwithstanding, things here have been very good this week. Being a family again is making us all very happy. And I keep finding myself doing things and then being surprised at the normalness of it all. The school run. Shopping. Family meal times. Card games. A touch of gardening. The boys (all 3) went for a sleepover last night (thank you, lovely friends, for having them) and Marisa and I went out for dinner. I don't think I've been out for dinner since Christmas. (Mind you, we were in the restaurant just after 6:30pm. I wasn't sure I'd cope later on. Things aren't completely normal, just yet.)

So we're getting extraordinary pleasure out of ordinary things. Hurrah for not taking things for granted. Long may that continue.

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