End

This is the end. Beautiful friend
The End - The Doors

The last few months have been mostly filled with taking different drugs… and ending up in hospital. It has been quite arduous. We got to the point of acknowledging, reluctantly, that the clinical trial I have been on since Christmas wasn't working, and so I have stopped taking the most recent set of noxios drugs.

This left just one treatment option. But after long discussion we decided that the likely side effects would far outweigh any benefits the drug might give us. For once I’ve turned a potential treatment down. What a relief, to be off the treatment merri-go-round.

I am currently at home. I'm no longer taking anything to slow down my myeloma so it is choosing its own speed. It's not as bad as it sounds. I've got my family round me. I'm enjoying catching up with people I haven't seen for ages, and trying to make the most of the weeks or maybe months that I've got left.

It has taken thirteen years to get to this point, so in that sense I consider it not a total failure on my part. We always knew from the beginning that it would end up this way, so it's no great surprise, and I'm not remotely angry about it. We - both me personally and us as a family - achieved a lot during that time. And now the time is running out.

I'm at peace with it.

My biggest concern is to make sure that my family is able to have the softest landing that they can.

This is the last time I'll be posting on dialm, so for anyone who has been reading for a long time, thanks for sticking with us. I hope you have found it informative.

Goodbye