Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Born again

Good shit's all around, good people. Don't let it get you down, good people. Good shit's all around. It's all about
Good Shit - Cornershop

Day 75 : Are we still counting? (Yes, obviously)

Has it really been over a week since I blogged? I'm not sure what to say.

There are two amazing things about feeling better.

The first is that it can compound on itself. One month ago, when I unplugged from the hospital, I was feeling good, except for the fatigue. But there is really no comparison between then and now. If I felt better then, that was nothing compared to how much better I feel now. I have energy now (most of the time). My  muscle ache is diminishing. I can swim 40 lengths. I can run, tentatively (on a machine, I haven't tried the unforgiving earth yet). I can go out and about largely as I please - even spend the day looking after Lyndon (we went to a play group yesterday). Even my back is much much better (though still a work in progress). But I suspect I still don't yet feel anywhere near 100% of what I can - I guess there's more dimensions of better coming.

The second amazing thing is, looking back, if I feel so much better, just quite how bad was it before? Thank goodness I was never really aware of how bad the bad times were.

It is like being reborn. I'd encourage you all to experience it - except to really appreciate it you'd have to go through the whole build up - broken back and bone pain/ velcade, steroids and high dose melphalan/ sickness and side effects/ loss of hair and digestive tract/ fevers and no immunity/ anaemia and transfusions/ fatigue and muscle weakness... Maybe not, eh?

As a celebration of rebirth, here's a pic of my azalea. In a normal year it is the first thing in our garden to flower - often before the end of March. This year it, like me, has been feeling the cold, but it is just beginning to turn heads.


Ed (Blog Adminstrator) said...

Pleased to hear it, Alex. FWIW: I had a follow up appointment with my oncologist yesterday. I'm 15 mos post transplant. Life has returned to normal. I advised him that I've been projecting living to age 90 in my retirement planning and he responded "that's what I would do if I were you." I take that to mean that something else will have to do me in beside MM. He also added that there are a number of very encouraging new treatments on the horizon so the prognosis for all of us is improving logarithmically. So, keep the faith, my friend and best regards to your father.

Alex Bicknell said...

I'm on for dying of something else. My clinical nurse is about to start a year's sabbatical. I told her I don't intend to be in the hospital in the next year anyway - I'll see her in 10 years.

Glad to hear things continue well with you. Looking forward to celebrating your 90th

Alex Bicknell said...

For the record... I had my blood tests done last week (day 69), but only picked up the results today:
Haemoglobin 10.9
Neutrophils 1.54
Platelets 170
I'd like my neutrophil count to get closer to "normal" (i.e. >2) and I'm beginning to think I need to adjust my diet a bit more to address my ongoing anaemia.
But overall, pretty good scores.

Tom Corby said...

Good news Alex.
I'm just about to start prepping for my SCT, I have the consent form meeting next week and then the mobilisation injections.

So it's good for those of us facing SCT to read of your continued progress. I'm a bit apprehensive.

Julia Svilenov said...

Oh Alex, what fantastic news, we have been thinking about you so much since we found out (guess we're the latecomers in all of this) but wow, so very happy for you and your beautiful family, you deserve to feel well again and Ret and I send you so much love. Blossom for the new season...xxxxx

Alex Bicknell said...

The consent form is a bit full on. Understandable to be apprehensive. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Alex Bicknell said...

Thank you. We need all the thoughts and love.

tccomments2013 said...

oh, alex,

...beginning to turn heads, indeed! i am so thrilled for all your good news. for all that you have endured (back to way before you were actually dx'd with MM)you have come such a long, long way. i can hear the lilt of happiness in your cyber voice, and it makes me very happy - for you and for your dear family. and you reckon correctly that feeling better can compound on itself. your words so wonderfully written will surely be a message of hope for others who have been in such dire straits and are hoping for all that you have achieved. i send you the bright light of love to continue to thrive and enjoy every minute of your progress.

XOXO, your fearless friend,