Sunday, 12 May 2013

Dancing on

We live to dance another day, it's just now we have to dance for one more of us.
Long Live The Queen - Frank Turner *

Day 66 : I can feel myself improving physically, week upon week. I need mental strength too.

Not much new news in my life this week. Feeling stronger. Have been to the pool twice - once for exercise (swam 32 lengths, which I'm quite proud of) and once to lark about with the children. Even managed a few minutes running on the machine at my gym group. The first time I've run in over a year (and my skeleton didn't collapse, I'm pleased to report). Still getting a lot of back ache, but also finding it just a little less difficult to lie flat when I try to. Getting increasing capability to do things that bend and twist my torso without suffering too much as a consequence. Fatigue is still an issue. Spent all of Wednesday and half of Friday lying down. But that really is par for the course, I think. Still having some issues with my skin. Crazy itching (I think this is my body hair beginning to regrow). And unannounced attacks of lizard-face from time to time. So that's me.

I discovered on Tuesday that Hugh Sutherland, a friend and fellow traveller in myelomaland, has died. I knew Hugh only through communication online - but I feel an inevitable bond with everyone fighting myeloma, which accentuates these friendships. Hugh was in remission after a stem cell transplant, so as well as being horrid, sad news about a friend, it was also unsettling news for me personally, in remission from my own stem cell transplant. I've been thinking about it a lot all week. I'll try to describe my feelings to you, but you'll have to wait until I can sort them all out in my head and express them eloquently. Right now my thoughts are with Hugh's wife Karen.

* Another friend with myeloma shared this lyric with me, as his own response to losing myeloma friends. I like it a lot. I will dance for Hugh.


  1. The journey is never easy, but(if you will forgive me trying too hard to make a connection)I have found that although they may no longer be walking alongside us that their experiences live on to help us continue forward meeting more people as we travel without them and maybe, just maybe, we can help new travellers too.

    Feel free to shoot me. :-)

  2. oh, my dear alex

    thank you for your kind words about hugh. i want you to know that it is highly possible that hugh had a brain tumor that went undetected as the signs and symptoms over the last 3 months were diffuse and could also have been associated with the difficulties he had adjusting to a cadre of new pain medication. the three month aspect is the span he had between appoinments with his myeloma specialist - the next one scheduled for today. seems cruel and my heart breaks at the loss of him. i love those lyrics and i will join you - i will dance with hugh - in my head, my heart, and my soul. such a lovely though, those words..."we live to dance another day..."

    love, xo

    your fearless friend,

    karen (sutherland)